My name is Tulip LaFrench, and I'm looking for a full-time job being your best pal.

Here are some of my qualifications:

• I graduated top of my class from Bark-ley University.
• I earned my Dogtorate in just 3.5 years (that's how old I am) in the study of HS - human supervision. I have supervised both men and women, young and old. I prefer for the humans I am supervising to be present more often than not so that I can ensure the utmost oversight. I also have my certificate in cat supervision. In all honesty, I just let cats do their own thing. I don't bother them, and they don't bother me. 
• I have my Master's Degree in Anthropawlogy specializing in Wiggles and Snuggles. When it's time to work, I will leave my crate and supervise right beside you or even snuggle behind you in your chair. If I think you're not working fast enough, I will paw at your leg until you pick me up so I can have a closer look at your productivity.
• I have a culinary Arts degree that I earned from the University of Upaw. This is where I quickly learned that I am one who prefers to feed others if they stick their head in my bowl. In my coursework, I found it best to just study in my crate so I know I will focus and eat my food, not having to share with others. I currently eat Purina ProPlan, and I weigh 16lbs.
• I briefly attended the College of Fetch-ology where I was introduced to leashes and open spaces. I have found through my studies that I am not a huge fan of new places or people (at first) and might have a tendency to run if I'm scared by loud noises or even a loud home. So a home with a fence and kiddos over 10 will be best to help me with these studies.

My extracurricular activities:

• I currently volunteer and go to work with my foster mom who is a Veterinarian (she is the one who spayed me and fixed my hernia). I enjoy the staff and meeting new critters.
• Giving "pick me up and love me" eyes.
• Walking peg legged. I have a straight rear but this is very normal in my family (LaFrenchies) and doesn't bother me at all.
• Playing the "Quiet Game." I'm not a barker.
• Being house-trained and crate-trained.
• Not caring to be humped by other dogs. I don't think this is unreasonable. That's rude.
• Handling grooming well…nail trims and baths are not my favorite, but I know they are necessary.
• Receiving straight A's in my "Showing Love" classes for 3.5 years straight!
• Being laid back.
• Chewing on bones and snuggling in very soft, comfy blankets!

I would very much like an interview for this permanent position. Please consider my resume for becoming your BFFL (Best Friend For Life)!

Kind regards,

Dr. Tulip LaFrench

Professor of Following Humans for Attention